I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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