I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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