we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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