Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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