I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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