let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
