Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
