So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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