Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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