I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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