I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
