Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do vagina's smell?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
