the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
