Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Randomize
