we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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