The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
