just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
