I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
