If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
