Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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