I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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