if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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