i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
