Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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