We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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