guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
