My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
