well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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