Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
