I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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