hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
