he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
