Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
