Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
