Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize