Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
