I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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