11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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