i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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