i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
