Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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