you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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