Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
