she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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