Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
