the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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