I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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