Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
