I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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