dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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