Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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