dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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