Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
