I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
