Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
