I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
