Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize