I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
we should paint friendship bongs
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
