best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize