the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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