Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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