I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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