i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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