she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
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there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize